Very pretty craig with gurus dating david deangelo interviews this
This interview with Grant, an expert in language and uses this to meet women online and in the real world.Grant starts off the interview talking about the benefits of online dating to work and improve on your persona with women in the real world. I’ve never really thought about that fact before but it true. Online dating is a perfect place to perfect your stories, questions you ask girls what information you reveal about yourself. In the book Melvin Helitzer – Comedy Writing Secrets. Melvin states that to become funnier you need to work on the character and not just learn more jokes. To become more naturally attractive you need to work on your brand and not just learn more lines and online dating provides the perfect place to do this.
Grant then starts to read a number of real life profiles and highlights the underlining message these guys are projecting. He goes over a number of profiles of men that you would perceive to be weak, needy and insecure. A tip David suggested was using some of the worst profiles into your profile/chat to make fun of people.
Grant then goes onto define some of his philosophies and some of his ideas to attract women online.
The first point Grant makes is how to write a compelling profile. When you write your profile or when your interacting with people online Grant talks about adding attractors in your communications. Attractors are positive qualities that women find attractive. The interview goes on to discuses ways to develop these attributes, including build confidence, having strong frames/mental processes and having interests in different areas.
Another idea Grant proposed is how its better to talk about the impact you make on people rather than your job title. For example if your a teacher you would say ‘I help inspire people’. Being descriptive instead of factual makes the interaction more sensual. Another example
that came to my mind was instead of saying I like to DJ you could write ‘I help people have a fantastic night out’. Doing this adds mystery that people can then comment on.
Another good suggestion again was based on the descriptive vs factual principal. The tip was to take the topics a girl throws at you and then demonstrate that you process that quality by describing/discussing that implies you embody that feeling. Instead of reading her profile and commenting that you like doing x, instead describe a time when you did x. For example if she mentions cycling as an interest, mention the time you went on an exhilarating bike ride in the hills and the felling of the sun on your face and the wind in your hair, instead of saying ‘I like cycling to’. I really liked the part about being subtle in your language instead of being direct. Implying increases attraction trying to sell yourself decreases attraction.
Another idea that I had is that in a number of sources everyone recommends knowing your ‘type’ and the things shes looking for in a man. Online dating gives you a perfect chance to see what your ‘type’ is looking for. Once you have this list you can then work on encompassing these interests, personality characteristics within in your lifestyle.
When interacting with people the more varied experiences you have the more interesting you are. David goes onto talk about some of his experiences mentoring guys and the problems surrounding confidence of trying new things. I can relate to this recently. I personal prefer girls who are tanned. For me I think its my responsibility to always have a tan as its obviously something my ‘type’ appreciated.. At first I was really sceptical to go into the shop because I didn’t think it was very macho. Now I don’t think twice about going in a tanning shop. Girls now constantly mention my ‘healthy’ glow but by overcoming my initial trepidation my comfort zone has now expanded and tanning ts just another thing and place I’m confident to do.
I personally think when you keep pushing boundaries in even mundane things that you’ll continue to gain conviction in your character and confidence. A great positive mental frame that was mentioned is to detach your ego from the success/failure of an action and just know that your skill set is improving regardless.
Grant goes to to recommend read Allan Pease – Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps. He says it’s a great book to get a girl to read before getting in a relationship.
The interview then goes on to talk about the important of listening to women, then repeating the information back to her to demonstrate you’ve listened as it creates deeper rapport.
The last part of the interview goes on to talk about the importance of story telling and grant talks about some of his tips.
1. All stories have patterns. Someone discovers they have a destiny greater than they though. All of us want to have an adventure. Whats the action, development, calling etc…
2. Add drama and conflict. You want tension and conflicting interests. logic vs emotion.
Some other tips that I thought were note worthy, included don’t use your real name. Women crave data only give it to them in very small chunks as it makes you more intriguing. It like a physiological thriller your constantly trying to work things out.
I thought Grants perspective on language was really interesting. Its something that most people don’t talk about to much and the idea of implying/direct is something that I’ve probably never consciously though about related to online dating. If your interested in online dating then this is definitely worth listening to. 8.5/10.