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A business partner of mine, who just happened to be drop dead gorgeous, and a winner of beauty pageants, due to her perfect cover girl face, was always playing the field. Lolita had many boyfriends and men simply passed through her life because once she was involved with a guy and thrilled to be with him, another charmer would sweep her off her feet. Many of these men wanted to get serious with her but because there were so many men chasing her around she simply did not have an interest in anyone in particular. Lolita frequented nightclubs and placed many notches on her belt to say the least. But, she was playing around, just enjoying the fact that all the men who looked upon her seemed to want her obsessively.
She Meets the Man
One day while working in her sales office, a handsome and well known Democrat councilman came in to talk business with her employers, and briefly talked to her. He left his card at the desk with her and she did not see him for six months. One day he called with some business information, and asked her to meet him in a restaurant. After sitting with this handsome guy for a few minutes, she was flattered to hear that he could not stop thinking about her since he saw her a few months ago, and just came up with an excuse for calling, and taking her to lunch. Lolita was so thrilled, that she decided to sweep him off his feet, by seducing him, and letting him have it in his car after they walked from the restaurant.
After the incident, she was ecstatic, and talked to her friends about this wonderful new guy, and how she was going to be the next Mrs. so and so. She was fantasizing about what her life would become now that she met the guy she would have as her own. During their lunch, he asked her to call him whenever she felt like it, and because two days had gone by without a call from him, she decided to call, and was that surprised when he did not really have the time to talk. Lolita was still on a cloud buying new clothes that she would wear while she was dating this democratic councilman. He may even become Mayor, as he is always with the Mayor during speeches and events.
Lolita decided to call it quits with the main guy she had been seeing, as things were not going well in their relationship recently. He had no money, and never bought her anything, and was basically a loser. The same kind of guy she could get 10 of , by just going to her local nightclub. Clubs are full of cheap guys who are going nowhere. Lolita was now on easy street. She would just do the same things she had been doing with all her other men, and this time it would result in a mansion, all the fine things money could by and a position as the wife of a Democrat politician.
She Doesn't Hear From Him
When she still had not heard from him after a week and a half she called this politician to tell him off. What kind of guy was this? All her men would find the time to call her and set up the next date. She neglected to understand that when a guy is busy. Small talk on the phone is seldom done on the same level as with a poor night club loser. Furthermore, he was no longer interested. He had been thinking about her for months because she had not called him up when he left his card behind. He was wondering if he could possibly win her over, and if he could, just how would he go about it. She took all the planning on his part away from him and fell down like a dead moose. This man who had gone to Harvard Law, and secured himself a position with the Democratic party liked to be challenged. Common sense regarding everything in his life points to this. She could have been his greatest accomplishment (in his mind) had she used her mind instead of her body.
He wondered for six months if there was any way that he could win the affection of this aloof and beautiful creature, and now that she instantly fell on her back and is nagging him for attention, he does not feel the desire to go out of his way for her again. It was over!
Lolita was devastated because she was so used to calling all the shots. Now this guy dumped her like a piece of trash. She found that he was married some time later, but that did not faze her at all, she had been with many married men, and they had always pined for her and talked about leaving their dull wives for her. Why didn't this guy want to cheat on his wife with her?
What She Did Wrong
There were several emotional phone calls in which she continued to make herself look cheap. The politician said he just had no time, and had numerous meetings to fulfill. too much traveling and business to take care of. Months later she discovered that he was having an affair with his secretary, and she lost it. Her self esteem was at a dangerously low point. Why is he having an affair with his not as pretty secretary and not me?
What Lolita failed to see, was that the secretary was not prettier than she, but much more discrete and reserved. This man had his political career on the line, and needed a woman he could trust. He was not about to risk his entire ambition on some bimbo who could easily be replaced.
I am no condoning cheating, I think that it is very dangerous and ultimately painful for all involved. I use this story to make my point. Go slow, and make each piece of affection he gets from you be something he has earned. Meaning, something that has taken time to build up to. You know the saying, "easy come easy to." If you don't give your emotions, physical or otherwise too easily, it will be impossible for him to let you go.
Don't Be Emotionally Demanding
Men love their careers and business. Money is very important to them, and for you to be someone who they trust in their lives, you need to stand out as a calm, and rational woman, who is respected by others. Not a highly emotional and demanding woman.